This letter was written by a very brave young woman. I asked her if I could post it on my website. We were brainstorming to come up with a title. Hailey found the perfect one:
SILENCE IS VIOLENCE!
I know it has been a long time. I have sat back and thought long and hard about even addressing you. But I have things I need to say to you to lighten the burden I have carried since I was a child.
I find it to be inexcusable how you let my father abuse me day after day without saying a word to stop the violent actions when I was too young to stand up for myself. Your silence was as painful as every hit I took. I find it heartbreaking that you rather alienate a child who experienced molestation instead of helping that child find hope, peace and understanding of those experiences. But instead you labeled me ‘a devil child’ and remained blind to the root causes of my behavior.
My lying, anger, depression and drug use as a teenager stemmed from the trauma I accumulated through my childhood. And again you alienated me by telling my grandmother you needed time to get your life together, yet you continued to allow my other sister contact.
I am devastated that I have missed so much of my sisters lives on account of your lack of understanding and compassion.
It has taken me years but I have worked through my trauma with the help of yoga, meditation and art. I came to realize the burden of the abuse I endured is not mine to carry for I was too young to understand and the ways I chose to express myself was how I could convey what had happened to me. But still this emptiness created from the severed connection of sibling bond has me feeling defeated.
I really do not expect anything from you and I do not want to be countered with excuses. I just needed to let this off my chest so when I look back I will know I did everything I could and this separation is not my fault. I take comfort in knowing I will always stand up for children who are abused and never blame the child for behaviors created by abusive adults.
Thank you for the lessons,