Contract of Love©
Between You and Your Child
RENEW IT EVERY YEAR
Because I love you and want to protect you from harm, I need to tell you these facts:
- I recognize that I do not know what is in the minds of others.
- I understand that I cannot be with you 24 hours a day, every day of your life.
- I understand that I will never know all that happens in your life.
- Therefore, I must trust you to tell me if someone harms you.
Out of love, I ask you to enter into this contract with me.
I, _____________________________ (Child), give my solemn promise to remember that you love me, no matter what. I promise to remember, even when I am angry, that you want what is best for me. I promise to take care of myself, especially in your absence. I know my health and happiness is vastly important to you.
Because I know these things to be true, I promise to tell you if any person, no matter who that person is . . .
- Hits me, kicks me, burns me or hurts my body in any way.
- Touches me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
- Asks or tells me to touch their body in a way that makes me uncomfortable.
- Shows me their private body parts
- Threatens me with embarrassment or violence.
- Gives me presents.
- Asks me to lie.
- Wants me to do something I am not allowed to do.
- Tells me to keep something a secret that is bad or makes me uncomfortable.
In return . . .
I, _____________________________ (Adult), give you my solemn promise that, no matter what happens, I will always love you. I promise to value your health and happiness above all. And know I will always try to protect you.
I know, in life, bad things may happen to you and may cause you pain. This is part of life. But know there is nothing that can happen to you that will ever change my love for you.
Because I know these things to be true, I promise you if you tell me that someone, no matter who that person is, did any of the things listed above I will . . .
- Believe you.
- Love you.
- Support you.
- Not blame you.
- Not be angry with you.
- Protect you from further abuse.
- Take appropriate action.
Together, on this ______ (Day) of ______________________ (Month) of the year ________, we, ___________________________ (Adult) and ___________________________ (Child), agree to trust each other through whatever happens in life. We promise to fulfill the vows we have made to each other on this day.
Should the day come when one of us should break our vow, then it becomes the duty of the other to remember the great love we hold and . . .
I, ___________________________ (Child) promise to tell as many other people as needed until an adult takes actions to protect me. This includes calling the police. It is important for me to do what is needed to do to stop the abuse. This is my pledge to you.
I, ___________________________ (Adult) promise to take your words to an impartial person in authority and ask for their help and advice. Then, I promise to follow their advice. This is my pledge to you.
This is our contract of love.
RENEW IT EVERY YEAR
Copyright © 2008 TellMeadow Publications All rights reserved. Published with permission of KarenTellMeadow@yahoo.com
This Contract of Love allows parents to connect with their children, and for children to connect with their parent, no matter what age,
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On Apr 9, Jessica said the following:
Hey Randa! I am an alumni of Santa Maria (Jacqueline Street) who was blessed to be a part of your groups on Fridays. I want to share something with you. This afternoon two of my sons, who are 12 and 14, were walking home. My 12 year old came in the house and when I asked where his brother was, he off-handedly told me a man at the store (which is on the way home) approached him saying that he had lost a hundred dollars and if my son found it he would give him half. Not knowing the full scope of the situation, I immediately thought of the “lost pet lure” that predators use on unsuspecting children. I left out of the house, yelling my son’s name, and thank God he was walking in the fence to our yard. Given their age, they were a bit unenthusiastic by my telling them the dangers of people who prey on children and what their tactics are. My son said that the man didn’t ask him to go with him, just if found the money give it to him and he could have half of it. I was skeptical though, and read an article to them from ABC News, and told them the stories of Gacy and Bundy.
And then I was reminded of the Contract of Love that you had given me in one of your groups. I am happy to report that we entered into said contract just a few minutes ago, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for it! Please keep fighting for our children, and the adults like you and I who have suffered at the hands of individuals who caused us harm when we were growing up.
Many thanks, -Jess
Please share this Contract of Love because it just might save another child from ever experiencing the trauma and betrayal of sexual abuse.
Imagine children growing up in a world that was free from child sexual abuse. Oh what a world that will be.
Together we can put an end to the sexual abuse of our children. Together we can put an end to all child abuse.